💡 A Non-Sleazy Way to Network (Issue 640)
There's a better way than what most of us have experienced and dread
Traditional networking feels fake and unpleasant to most of us.
It’s probably why 98% of my clients make a face when I tell them that networking (Note: I prefer to call it “connecting and reconnecting”) is the best way to find new career opportunities.
You would probably have the same reaction since I bet you know exactly what I’m talking about when I refer to traditional networking:
The “working the room” dudes at conferences.
People scanning your name badge to see if you’re worth talking to or not.
Introverts surrounding the loud extrovert who dominates the entire conversation.
Awkward coffee chats where you’re obviously being sized up for something they need.
The cold DMs asking, “Can I pick your brain?” (followed by the inevitable sales pitch).
If you’ve been in the working world for 15+ years, you’ve probably had enough of that BS. You’ve built a career through hard work, not schmoozing and making small talk. You don’t want to kiss up, beg for attention, or ask for favors.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth…
You can’t afford to ignore the power of networking.
Your network can be your most valuable asset. I know that mine sure is! Every single one of my jobs during my 20+ year tech career came about because of my network. I never applied cold. Not even once. I always had a champion on the inside who helped me navigate the interviews and land an offer.
The good news? Authentically connecting and reconnecting with good people doesn’t have to be sleazy, transactional, or fake.
So, how do you network without losing your soul and hating yourself in the morning? Read on for some tips. By the way, my community is meeting next month to discuss this very topic, and you're welcome to join us!
Be curious
Instead of trying to use people, become genuinely interested in their work, ideas, or challenges. Connect with them like a real human being. Imagine that!
Ask them questions and really listen to their answers. Follow up with people because you like them and find them interesting, not because you’re buttering up a lead.
Give first (with no expectations)
Share an article with someone who might find it interesting.
Connect two good people who should meet.
Share advice when you think it could help.
Don’t make a sales pitch. Don’t have an “ask.” Just help them!
It’s amazing how many doors open later when you are a genuinely good person who helps others without expecting something in return.
Stay connected
Follow up when something reminds you of them. Comment on their posts in thoughtful ways. Congratulate them on their wins and become one of their fans.
Finding small ways to stay connected keeps the relationship fresh. Doing this when you don’t need anything shows that you aren’t one of the usual networking players who only connect with people when they want to use them.
Reconnect with colleagues and connections
Some of my best opportunities came from people I hadn’t talked to in years. Former coworkers, past bosses, and old college friends… they have all been very kind to me.
People like helping people!
If you’re a good person who is great at what you do, people from your past already recognize your talent, know how hard you work, and trust you. That trust will open new doors.
Networking isn’t a numbers game
It’s about building meaningful connections with a few good people. It’s about staying in touch with wonderful people. It’s about that inner circle that looks out for each other for life!
The best opportunities I’ve had—new clients, great jobs, speaking gigs—have all come through my trusted relationships. I don’t do cold outreach. I don’t play LinkedIn games. I simply love reconnecting with old friends and colleagues, as well as making new connections with cool people from all over the world.
So if you’ve been avoiding networking because it feels icky, maybe it’s time to reframe it as connecting and reconnecting. No awkward cocktail party required! No canned list of speaking topics. No silly name badges.
Think of it as building your most valuable private community, not a sales pipeline of people to use.
Do you want a few easy ways to start? Try this:
Reach out to someone you genuinely respect and just ask how they’re doing. We’re all going through a rough time right now, so it will be appreciated when you really mean it.
Share a helpful article with someone working on something in that domain.
Comment meaningfully on someone’s post on Substack Notes or LinkedIn (no AI-generated comments, please!).
Reconnect with an old manager or colleague and catch up with no ulterior motive. I’ve done this, and it is surprisingly fun!
That’s it.
No sales pitch. No asking for a favor. No fake small talk.
If you’re trying to refresh your network (or build a powerful new one), I’ve helped senior professionals like you do just that without becoming a “networking bro.”
Would you like to discuss some ideas with me? You can schedule a complimentary call.
I’m Larry Cornett, an executive coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate!
📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!
This is so helpful. Reframing it as care and connection changes everything. It’s not about hustling, it’s about showing up for people you genuinely value.