Boost Your Confidence by Writing the "Story of You"
Just don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20 - Issue #24
I worked my way through school to get my education, spent more than two decades in Tech working for some of Silicon Valley’s biggest companies, yet I often feel like I’m a million miles away from my goals. There are so many things that I still want to accomplish.
But, you should never compare an early chapter in your “book” to others who are farther along in their books. In the case of billionaires, just don’t compare your book to their books at all. Ever.
In my case, the first book was already pretty far along, but I wasn’t happy with where it was going. So, I completed the last chapter of that book and started writing a new one. Here I am in my new chapter 1, and I’m taking complete control of how this story will end.
Where are you in the book of your life?
Are you satisfied with what you have accomplished?
Are you happy with where you are heading?
Where is your bookmark?
Regardless of where you are in your life and career, you may feel frustrated by your perceived progress relative to where you wish your bookmark was currently placed. It’s easy to look ahead at the blank pages remaining and be disappointed.
I’ve felt that way, at times. If you haven’t, you’re an amazingly self-aware, proud, and confident person. Buy me a coffee sometime so that I can meet you.
That actually wasn’t me being sarcastic, by the way. I really love meeting people who have always known what they wanted to be when they grew up, had a plan, and are happy with their progress. I’ve met a few people like that, and it is truly a joy to behold.
Now, for the rest of us who sometimes have doubts, I have found the following to be a helpful exercise. Sit down in a quiet place, with your favorite mug of coffee or tea, and start capturing the “Story of You” from the beginning.
We’ve all been on a more amazing journey than we realize. We’ve had life experiences that we have mostly forgotten or taken for granted. We’ve accomplished things that we no longer feel are worth mentioning. It’s time to revisit all of that.
The Story of You
When I recommend people write about their careers and life experiences, they are humble to a fault. They say:
“Oh, my life isn’t that interesting.”
“I haven’t really accomplished that much.”
“No one would want to hear what I have to say.”
That’s absolutely false. We’re not the best judges of ourselves. We’re too close and take too much for granted.
We have forgotten so many experiences and accomplishments that only surface when someone asks deeper and more detailed questions. Then, you hear things like:
“Oh yes, I guess I did publish a book once.”
“I forgot about that summer when I backpacked around Europe.”
“Well, I do remember doubling revenue at that company when I was leading the team.”
I’m amazed at how easily people brush off their accomplishments. They don’t realize how valuable their stories are to so many people just starting down their own career paths. They aren’t aware of the people who would benefit from their words of wisdom.
There is always someone in need of the knowledge that you have locked up in your head.
That is reason enough to capture and share your story. However, I have another motive in mind. When you take the time to write everything you’ve done in your life, you realize how far you’ve come.
You see patterns in your talent, skills, knowledge, and experience. Once that is all laid out in front of you, your confidence grows. You may still have a long way to go, but you now understand how far you’ve come.
“Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story.”
- John Barth
Confidence is a fuel
I’m not talking about false confidence. I don’t like tricks or hacks to appear more confident. I’m talking about the true self-confidence you have earned and recognize, as you reread your story.
Genuine confidence is a fuel that powers achievement in your life. It improves your relationships, career, and well-being. It will enable you to take bigger risks and accomplish more audacious goals.
It will help carry you through the inevitable failures and setbacks. You’ll shrug them off more quickly, get back up, and carry on.
Yes, there are things you can do now to further develop your confidence (e.g., improving your health and fitness, acquiring new skills, improving your public speaking, and constantly educating yourself). However, writing the Story of You will immediately elevate your confidence because it’s the culmination of decades of accomplishments and work you’ve already put in.
Take some time this week to kick off the process!
