Many people use hedging phrases and unnecessary qualifiers in their communication. I still catch myself using a “weak word” when I’m speaking and mentally note, “I’ve gotta stop saying that!”
I think we naturally try to soften the request or demand. We think that these phrases build rapport, when in fact they simply make us look uncertain and weak.
I’m sure you are familiar with a few of these:
“I think…”
“I feel like…”
“It would be great if…”
“I should be able to…”
“Basically…”
“Honestly…”
“Apparently…”
I have a funny story (well, it’s funny now) about a time I was interviewing with a very senior leader at a company. He asked me a tough question and I started to answer, “Honestly? I…”
He interrupted me and said, “No. Friggin lie to me.” Although, he didn’t use the word “friggin.”
That day, I made a vow to remove the word “honestly” from my vocabulary.
In addition, we tend to sprinkle our conversation with any number of verbal tics and vocal fillers such as:
“Ummm…”
“Like…”
“Soooo…”
“…you know?”
“…righ…