💡 The Illusion of Freedom: Why Successful People Feel Trapped (Issue 636)
Golden handcuffs and the golden cage
➡️ I reduced my premium newsletter subscription from $15 to only $5/month ($50/year) for the summer! Upgrading your subscription gives you access to my private career community, monthly group coaching calls, and the full archive of articles and podcast episodes.
You have a good job, and you make good money. Your teen self would be thrilled. You made it!
But instead of feeling fulfilled, you feel stuck.
You didn’t mess up. It’s just the price you pay for successfully making someone else’s dream come true.
You give up the freedom of deciding how to spend your days in return for a nice paycheck, retirement plan, a beautiful home, a great car, and a two-week vacation on the beach every year.
Believe me, I understand. Many years ago, I was living that life, too.
My breaking point
I was recently on a podcast show with my friend, Maureen Wiley Clough. We discussed the tipping point in my 20+ year tech career when I decided I wanted to make a change in my life. The topic of “golden handcuffs” came up, and I also described how we often build a “golden cage” that ultimately traps us in a specific lifestyle.
During my final corporate job, I was making more money than ever in my career. I had the executive leadership title. We bought a big house, and I purchased a luxury car. But my calendar was full of meetings I didn’t control, often with people I would rather not spend my days with. My time was spent chasing the next career success and promotion, rather than with my family.
That’s not a recipe for genuine success, freedom, or fulfillment. Instead, it’s a surefire way to end up trapped forever in a golden cage and working harder and harder to keep supporting the lifestyle that becomes an albatross around your neck.
Luckily, I was able to break free and pursue a different path 15 years ago. For me, that was entrepreneurship. For others, it might mean being more careful about selecting their next employer to ensure the opportunity better aligns with their values and needs. It also means being more mindful about managing lifestyle creep and keeping crazy spending under control.
Later in your career, real success and freedom start to look like:
Working on projects that energize you and give you purpose.
Working with people you enjoy being around.
Working the hours you want.
Saying no to the wrong things without guilt.
Spending more time with your family
Taking care of your health and wellness.
Not feeling guilty about taking time off in the evening, on the weekend, and for vacations.
Making enough to feel safe and having enough to be happy.
Being able to live a life beyond work!
When do you get what you want?
Maybe you’ve accomplished what you set out to do. You’ve reached the lifestyle you thought you wanted. However, you find yourself asking, “When do I escape this hedonic treadmill, experience freedom, and really get to enjoy life?”
If you're feeling the tension between the outward trappings of success and more meaningful inner needs, there’s nothing wrong with you. The system is kind of broken. It wasn’t created to make you happy or fulfilled as an employee. It was built to enrich the people at the top (e.g., founders, investors, execs, and shareholders).
So, we often become victims of our own success. As we climb higher on the career ladder, we buy into these rules of the system.
If you’re not moving up, you must be stuck.
If you’re not taking on more, you must be struggling.
If you’re not keeping up with the Joneses, you must be a loser.
If you’re not willing to do whatever it takes to succeed, you must be a failure.
Breaking free of this cycle doesn’t mean you have to blow up your life or toss away your career. However, you do need to be honest about what meaningful success would be for you now. Not what you were told it should mean. You do need the courage to question a system that is no longer serving your needs, aligned with your values, or giving you the life you really want.
I know what it was costing me to delay pursuing what I needed (e.g., my relationships, my health, my happiness). What is it costing you?
I coach professionals like you through the exploration of what you want most for your career and life, and then work with you to create a plan to pursue it. Want to chat with me about what freedom and fulfillment could actually look like for your next move? You can book a free call with me!
I’m Larry Cornett, an executive coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate!
📕 Check out The Invincible Daily Journals!