I just rewatched Adam Grant's TED talk on being a giver or taker.
So, which one are you?
Do you tend to give and help others?
Or, do you tend to take and ask others for help all of the time?
Everyone likes to say that they are a giver. But, please, let’s not kid ourselves.
We all know lots of Takers who use us and other people. They have no sense of reciprocity.
For example, I had a few people who were always trying to schedule multiple free calls using my complimentary service.
That’s not what it is meant for. It’s not a way for someone to call me over and over again to get my free help for years.
It’s to help people as much as I can and then see if they want to keep working with me.
I eventually had to block the Takers.
Unfortunately, the negative impact of a Taker on a company culture is usually double of triple the impact of a Giver. Sooner or later, Givers stop giving when they are surrounded by Takers.
Takers are great at kissing up and kicking down.
The good news is that Takers aren’t the ones who succeed in the long run. They get ahead for awhile, but their behavior catches up with them.
However, Givers don’t succeed either. They spend so much of their time helping others that they don’t get their own work done. They don’t look out for themselves.
There’s even evidence that compared with Takers, on average, Givers earn 14% less money, have twice the risk of becoming victims of crimes, and are judged as 22% less powerful and dominant.
It’s the Matchers who tend to do the best. These are people who find balance and expect reciprocity. You know, give and take.
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